Because we as men have been conditioned to associate being "manly" with not showing any signs of vulnerability, we unwittingly attach our experience of "masculinity" to our fight-or-flight survival instinct because survival shuts down ALL feelings of vulnerability. While this primal wiring may well serve our physical survival by shutting down our physical vulnerability, it also shuts down any emotional vulnerability we may be feeling, which then prevents us from deepening our experience of closeness and intimacy with the person we love. Dr. Hanalei Vierra talks about how men can learn to be more emotionally vulnerable in order to strengthen their love relationships, but also how to do this in a way that does not sacrifice their masculinity. http://www.hanaleivierra.com#TEDxspeaker #TEDxTalks #TEDxSanDiego #healthymasculinity #emotionalvulnerability #men #relationships Hanalei Vierra, PhD., MFT is an expert on men’s emotional health. He is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in private practice in San Diego, California, where he has specialized for over 30 years in teaching adult men how to become emotionally healthy partners in their intimate relationships…WITHOUT SACRIFICING THEIR MASCULINITY! Hanalei’s down-to-earth approach to 21st century masculinity focuses on helping men access the testicular fortitude necessary to free themselves from the prison of emotional ignorance that defines traditional toxic masculinity. He believes that men have been conditioned to associate “being manly” with hiding behind a “mask of masculinity” to show the world that we are not vulnerable to our very human experiences of fear, pain, anger, sadness, and shame. This keeps men functioning as emotionally immature boys in their adult relationships, and it also disconnects men from their authenticity, personal integrity, and self-respect. www.hanaleivierra.com This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx