Understanding your thoughts is key to understanding your behavior, especially as your identity evolves. It's important to recognize when to speak up, when it is appropriate, and when it is necessary. Navigating uncertain times and answering these questions requires intentional self-awareness. Shifting from a negative mindset to a positive one is crucial. Speaking up in a positive manner and within a positive environment can transform not only your outlook but also your relationships. Ashley Elliott, co-author of I Used to Be _____, devised and published a theory to help individuals gain insight into their thinking patterns that prevent them from reaching success in relationships at work and home. She is a licensed counselor and coach who specializes in grief and communication. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx